Who Am I To Be Ungrateful! #FuckCancer

This one will be deep you guys, but I have something really important to get off my chest.

Recently, a young amazing man I have had the honor of knowing and working with, for several years, past away.

This young man had an amazing spirit, and was probably the warmest most kind-hearted man I have ever had the pleasure of being around.

A few years ago now he was diagnosed with cancer. And tragically it was very aggressive one. But I have never ever in my life experienced anything like the attitude he had about it all.

For even with a sentence like that, All his energy was focused on fighting, and living. Living life to the fullest.

Now, I moved to LA, but was following his fights and struggles on social media and through friends.

And even though he was in and out of the hospital, on strong medications and, I’m sure went through both a lot of pain and frustration, he was always so positive, his updates would much more often make me smile than anything else.

He shared stories from his life with his amazing wife, and beautiful baby daughter. The sweetest pictures and adorable little quotes and moments from his daily routines.

A young loving father and husband, an extremely hard-working man with more drive than most, a very religious man who dedicated a lot of his life to church and god, and a man with many many friends. I can’t think of a single bad word to say about this man, and if anyone can, I am pretty sure they are either delusional or talking about the wrong person.

So when I heard the message about his passing, it really and truly came as a shock, for even though I knew he was sick, I never was able to imagine that this would actually happen.

Now, death is never easy, and it is always painful. And maybe more than anything, it is frustrating, because it never make any sense.

Unfortunately I can say I have lost way too many loved ones in my life. But this one went deep because it really made me think about it all.

He was young, a father to a little girl, he did everything in his power to stay, tried all the treatments possible, prayed, and fought like a real warrior.

So much to live for, both in family and work. So much more was lying in his future, so why, why didn’t he win?

And I know I will never get a satisfying answer to that, at least not in this life. and “Thats just the way it is” has never been an answer I can settle with.

But I guess I really have to take that answer now, for truth be told, there is nothing I or anyone else can do about it. That is life. The precious gift we all got in common. And if there is anything I have really learned it is just that.

Life is way too precious, way to fragile and not something to take for granted.

Who am I to complain about anything, when there is people out there fighting everyday just for one more day, one more hour of life.

Fighting for the small things in life I might take for granted.

Who am I to complain when there are people lying awake at night missing their mother, father or even their own child.

Who am I to complain about anything when I can wake up everyday to fight for things that I simply just want and not the things that I need. 

And keep that in mind, because when the list of what you want is longer than the things you need, you are blessed beyond words.

So I pray, to god or whatever power that is over us, for I don’t know what it is and I sure have a hard time understanding this almighty power in times like this, but I still will believe, and I will pray. For I would be so ungrateful if I didn’t show my appreciation and my humility for what I have after this. For I think we tend to think of a prayer as a thing we do when we need something, but a prayer is just as important, if not even more, when it comes to show gratitude for the things we already have.

So I pray, first and foremost for my friend and his family, for his little daughter and for all the people he affected with his life that ended way to soon.

And then I will simply pray, not to ask for anything, for like I said I already have all I need in life, so I will only pray in pure gratitude for all I have. And for not the things that I want, but for the ability to actually go out and get it.

I pray for my health, for my beautiful family and wonderful friends, for moments and memories, for battles won, and battles lost, for even with battles lost I have won in the end. Because tomorrow I have been given another day of life. Another day to get back out there and embrace new chances and opportunities of living it to the fullest. And that is a blessing.

Forgive me if I ever am ungrateful, for sometimes I forget what I have. And I know one day I wont have that anymore. So forgive me also if I take it for granted.

For I will try a little harder everyday, to do a little better with my days.

yes, life is a blessing, so be grateful for it and know that you matter, and you are unique. No one can replace you, and no one can replace the people around you, so be grateful for all other life surrounding too.

After all we are all just little humans walking together on this tiny little planet, in a gigantic universe.

And if that doesn’t make us realize how much of a family we all actually are, and how lucky we all are to be here, well I don’t know what will.

And last but not least #FuckCancer, that is all.